Intro: I Signed a Waiver and Nearly Lost My Arms. 10/10 Would Do It Again

You ever sign something and then immediately wonder if that was a mistake? Yeah, that was me, standing at the front desk of CityROCK Cape Town, holding a rental harness and wondering if this was how it ends. Hoisted up a wall, betrayed by gravity and bad life choices.

But two hours later, I walked out a changed man: sore in muscles I didn’t know existed, smiling like a lunatic, and already plotting my next visit.

If you’ve ever wanted to flirt with heights, flirt with strangers, or flirt with your own limits this place is the date.

The Place: What Is CityROCK Cape Town?

CityROCK isn’t just a climbing gym it’s like the Disneyland of vertical adventure. Think towering walls, professional routes, a bouldering cave, gear shop, café, yoga studio, and even a gym (for those of us who realize halfway up the wall that we might need one). Located in Paarden Eiland, it’s Cape Town’s answer to “What do I do with this restless energy and vague urge to be cooler?”

They cater for everyone: from hardcore climbers who bring their own chalk bags and eat lentils for protein, to wide-eyed newbies like me who just want to survive their first auto-belay.

The Arrival: Fast, Friendly, and Surprisingly Digital

Walking in, I was instantly hit by two things:

1. How massive and impressive the place is.
2. How absolutely underqualified I felt.

Thankfully, the welcome was smoother than my attempt to act confident.

• Sign-in: Quick and digital. No paper cuts, no awkward small talk. Just a tablet and a waiver that quietly reminds you, “You might fall. You might cry. But you signed this, so no take-backs.”
• Rental gear: Fast, painless except the shoes. If you’ve never worn climbing shoes, imagine squeezing your foot into a medieval fruit press. That’s normal. That’s how you know it fits.
• Intro tour: A friendly staff member walked us through the facility, explained the auto-belay, safety clips, wall difficulty ratings, and even how to unclip without launching the carabiner into space like a NASA test dummy.

Five minutes in, I was officially oriented. And mildly terrified.

The Climb: Fear, Freefall, and Found Friends

First Wall: “Just Let Go.”

Clipped into the auto-belay, I stared up at the beginner wall. Looked manageable. Then I looked down and realized I hate looking down. You see, it’s not the climb that gets you. It’s the letting go.

I stood at the top, white-knuckled, heart pounding, knees whispering rude things about my brain. It took a full minute to convince myself the belay system would actually catch me. When I finally stepped off…

WHOOOSH.

That first one-second drop feels like the cable snapped. But then gentle, controlled descent. Like a hug from gravity. I laughed. Loudly. A bit too loudly.

And then I climbed again.

The Bug Bites (and My Arms Give Up)

After the first successful descent, something changes. You get hooked. I started scanning walls like a kid in a candy store. That one. That one. Ooh, the red one with the slanted holds!

I stayed mostly in the beginner area (also known as the kiddie zone, but don’t let that fool you, those little humans are freakishly strong). After 4 or 5 climbs, I was halfway up a new wall when my hands just… gave out. No warning. One second I’m reaching for a hold, next second, freefall.

Not even scared this time. Just impressed that my body had waved the white flag.

The People: Cape Town’s Nicest Cult?

I came alone, which usually means two hours of awkward silence and fake texting. Not here.

People at CityROCK are absurdly friendly. Like, “Hey, your clip’s twisted, let me help” friendly. Or “You got this, bro!” mid-climb encouragement from someone you’ve never met.

It’s one of the only places where a stranger correcting your technique doesn’t feel patronizing, it feels like a community. No egos, no judgment, just people united by the shared struggle of gravity and the collective burning of forearms.

For the first time in forever, I felt totally okay talking to strangers.

The Aftermath: Muscle Groups You Forgot You Owned

The next day? I woke up feeling like I’d been hit by a yoga instructor with a grudge. Every part of me ached, especially the weird ones: fingers, wrists, that one spot under your shoulder blade that only twitches when you sneeze.

And yet, I felt calmer. Lighter. Like I’d left something heavy up on the wall and didn’t need it anymore.

CityROCK isn’t just physical, it’s emotional too. You leave with more than you came with. Even if all you take home is sweat and humility.

 Pros and Cons

Pros

• Top-notch facilities: clean, modern, and massive.
• Friendly staff who don’t make you feel like an idiot (even when you’re clearly an idiot).
• Welcoming community that makes solo climbing feel social.
• Auto-belay is smooth, safe, and perfect for beginners.
• Café, gear shop, yoga, gym, lockers, they’ve thought of everything.

Cons

• Climbing shoes feel like medieval torture devices (but that’s standard).
• It can fill up fast try off-peak times for more space.
• Initial fear of falling is real, even with the belay but it passes.

Offtrack Jack’s Final Rating

⭐ 4.8/5 stars

Would be a perfect 5 if my arms weren’t still mad at me. But maybe that’s my fault.

Who It’s For

CityROCK is perfect for:

• First-timers who want adventure but not the whole plunge-to-your-death thing.
• Groups looking for something fun, physical, and a bit weird.
• Solo explorers who want to feel part of something bigger.
• People overcoming fear. Whether it’s heights, social interaction, or tight footwear.

Final Thoughts: Trust the Belay, Jack

I walked into CityROCK intimidated, full of questions and silent fears. I walked out tired, proud, and hungry for more.

Climbing isn’t just about going up, it’s about letting go. Of fear. Of control or whatever heavy nonsense you carried in with you.

If you’re in Cape Town and craving something different, sweaty, social, and soul-lifting, this place will change you.

Just don’t forget to stretch. And maybe bring your own shoes.